Lyon versus Bayern – Champions League Semi part deux

Guest commentator at TSG today.

TWEET TWEET TWEET – Game over. Well that was a major disappointment if you’re anyone other than a Bayern fan, but they deservedly book themselves a place in the finals at the Bernabeu in a few weeks time. Join us tomorrow for Barcelona versus Inter Milan

2 minutes of stoppage time...WHY…END THE MISERY…Altintop has an open goal and sends a shot over and around the goal. That took more skill then shooting it on target!

85:00 – Lyon’s fans are in full voice. Their team is getting crushed…embarrassingly but they are having a great time. Bayern still dominating this game. In good news for me, I won the prop bet that this game would yield 3 goals or more…this is not how I expected that to happen though!

78:00 – GOAL. 3-0 Bavarians! Olic gets his hat trick. Lahm runs past the statues also known as Lyon defenders and sends a looping cross to Olic who heads the ball past Lloris. A nice hat trick by Olic who was not good in the first leg but is more than making up for it here in France.

77:00 – How is Muller on this team? To be fair I haven’t followed Bayern this season but on a 3 on 2 breakaway where he could pass the ball anywhere for a 1 on 1 with the keeper he sends a ball straight at the defender!

71:00 – Lyon are in shock and Bayern is moving the ball around the Lyon half at will. Robben gets the ball and sends in a stinging drive which is well saved by Lloris who has been Lyon’s best and most consistent player this entire semi finals. This isn’t saying much.

Meanwhile, Franck has waken up from his nap but apparently the game has bored him so much that he picks up his Hello Kitty address book, reaches for his cell phone and leaves the stadium. Well, we shall see him at the Bernabeu for the final but against whom? Will it be Barca who would like nothing more than to win club footballs biggest prize in their rivals stadium? or will it be Italian giants Inter Milan whose manager will probably use his stay in Madrid to finalize his contract for managing Real Madrid the following season?

67:00 – Game over. Olic scores his second goal of the match as he waltzes unmarked into the Lyon box as the Turkish midfielder Altintop sends in a lovely pass that Olic controls and sends past Lloris. 2-0 Bayern, 3-0 on aggregate.

One can only hope that tomorrows game is more exciting. Mourinho will certainly do his best to stifle the Barcelona attacks, but as we all know the Catalan team possess the best and most creative attacking force in football today.

59:00 – Cris gets booked for a challenge on goalscorer Olic. It’s a good tackle I feel and apparently so does the Brazilian captain of Lyon who after getting booked, sarcastically applauds the ref. The Swiss referee is having none of it and immediately pulls out a second yellow and gives Cris his marching orders. This is madness from the referee. It wasn’t even a bookable first offense. Hopefully the World Cup won’t be like this. Lyon down to 10 men and this doesn’t look good.

57:00 – Lisandro gets caught in possession and Bayern break with 4 players. Robben gets the ball with all the time on the world as no defenders decide to shut him down. He controls the ball on to his favorite left peg and shoots. The shot is well saved by Lloris. Lyon look helpless right now but they keep pressing.

54:00 – Schweinsteiger (PF from now on…see live blog from first leg) sends a bullet off a volley just over Lloris’s bar. What a cannon that was. “PF” has been quiet in this game.

“Le snore, Le zzzzzz” – Ribery apparently bored by the game is taking a nap and no doubt dreaming about Madrid and Cristiano’s wild orgies.

50:00 – Lyon work the ball up the wing and send the ball over everyone to the feet of Gomis who takes a first time shot that is currently in orbit. Gomis could have easily controlled the ball and then shot…but better overall from the French team.

48:00 – Second half is being played like the first. Bayern controlling the game and Lyon running around with their heads cut off.

Well Bayern are showing their intent by taking off Van Buyten and replacing him with Demichellis so more defending for the Bavarians. Meanwhile Lyon send on raw speedster Gomis for Cissokho.

TWEET TWEET – A dull half is over. Bayern score the all important away goal and I have to say they deserve it ” ZEY DO DESERVE IT…ALLEZ BAYERN!” screams a smiley (shudder) Ribery. Lyon are plain awful. All they have going for them is they are running hard but with no real purpose. They’re making terrible passes and can’t maintain any possession. So far the game is a major disappointment.

“Zer is no way I will be play club futbol in France. I vill go to Espana where zee girls are pretty and zee age of consent is only 13″

WHAT? really?. TSG had to look this up and never winner of “most handsome in the room” is right. Check it up here. WAIT WHAT…the Vatican state age of consent is 12. Are you kidding me!!!! This explains a lot.

39:00 – Having a hard time imagining how Lyon got this far in the competition. They cannot manage anything creative to penetrate the Bavarian back 4 and are showing no signs of troubling them at all. They really could use some who can creatively penetrate anything such as countryman Ribery.

34:00 – Bayern beginning to control more and more of this game. Like the first leg you don’t get the impression that Lyon are really going to threaten the Bayern goal. As I write this Bastos wins Lyon a corner kick. Nothing comes of it and Bayern immediately counter with Lahm who sends a pass to the scampering Muller but is well tackled by a Lyonnaise defender and the ball lands safely in Lloris’s arms.

31:00 – Lyon get a chance with an empty net but the ball pings out of bounds. They need to put those away!

“OUI OUI OUI” exclaims an excited Franck. “Zat was preety passing. We will be having a big party now…let me call Benzima!”

26:00 – GOOOOAALLL – Olic for Bayern. Muller and Robben have a little give and go and Muller pass the ball behind Olic who traps it, spins and shoots straight past Lloris. Lovely goal and Lyon now have to score 3 goals to get to the final. 1-0 Bayern, 2-0 on aggregate.

23:00 – Poor challenge on the Bayern captain by Gonalons who if Lyon make it to the final will miss it, as he picks up a yellow card. As the commentators are saying, its ridiculous that if you pick up two yellows in the last 2 games you miss the final… I agree, as refs are encouraged to book players in order to keep games under control.

19:00 – Cissokho climbs all over Robben in order to win a goal kick and the ref immediately blows the whistle. Robben sends in a nice ball into the Lyon box but the forwards waste their chance to do anything with it. Lyon counter but in their haste are making poor passes. I admire their hustle but they’re going to need be clever if they want to break down the Bayern defense.

15:00 – Lots of action by both teams but nothing really to show for it either way. Lyon are doing a decent job of shutting down Robben…but for how long?

“Well.. this Muller iz just a young guy. I have taken him…under how you say weeng. E iz not quite there yet, but soon he will be banging them in comme moi… and not just on the football pitch…wink wink” – Please don’t wink at me Franck…it scares the dog.

8:00 – Lyon are really hurrying the Bavarians but the Bayern defense calmly bring the ball out of their half and Muller has another shot at goal. To his credit he is finding space well…shame about the finishing.

CRETIN, IDIOTE! – strong words indeed from Ribery as he holds his head after that early miss.

2:00 – Lyon seems really up for it as they are coming in hard for every 50/50  but their over-exuberance almost costs them as they are attacked on the counter. Muller misses an absolute sitter as he is sent a lovely cross ball and all he has to do is shoot it on target and its 1-0 Bayern. Instead he sends it wide. He’s been atrocious so far in this semi. He had at least 2-3 opportunities in the first leg

TWEET…and the game is on.

The Lyonnaise fans are up for it as they are LOUD and waving flags with reckless abandon. Meanwhile the players emerge from the tunnel with little child attached their sides. Interestingly, Lyon striker, Lisandro has his arms around his child in a very huggy sort of way. Do they know each? What do you say Franck?

Ribery: “Bahhh…are ewe going to make fun of me and that sexy underage prostitute girl thing? mais zut alors..i was only accused not convicted…look at moi.” oh oh…game is on!

Bayern has Van Bommel back and Govou and Bastos are starting for Lyon. Even though the Bavarians have a 1-0 lead the game is wide open. I suspect there will be lots of goals…in fact I’m going to bet on it…BRB

Good afternoon all. Welcome to the second leg of champions league semi at Lyon where they are hosting Bayern Munich. Last weeks game was incredibly exciting and totally dominated by Bayern; yet they could only muster one goal thanks to the tireless and superb efforts by Dutchman Arjen Robben. One can only imagine that if French superstar didn’t get a bad case of stampy boots, what the final score would have been, as both wingers were a class above everyone else and were rampant. Alas, Franck “never a consideration for the annual GQ calendar” Ribery will have to watch from the stands….BUT the Bavarians loss is our gain as big fan of our little blog that he is, he will occasionally be chirping in on our play by play commentary with his own little thoughts.

14 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by matthewsf on 2010/04/27 at 11:52 AM

    I love everything about what is going to happen in this post today.

    Thanks Shaun…


  2. Posted by Andy on 2010/04/27 at 12:01 PM

    I’m annoyed that I can’t watch the game live. Very, very annoyed.


  3. Posted by Joe on 2010/04/27 at 12:18 PM

    this commentary is the only thing keeping me awake during this game!
    it is DULL


    • Posted by sfshwebb on 2010/04/27 at 12:24 PM

      Germans are playing it safe, especially with a two goal lead and the French cannot string more than 2 passes together…Sloppy. Wrong team scored first.


  4. I think you’ll find Butt is in goal for the Germans, unless Olic’s first was an own-goal.


  5. aplus work on the prop, bodog or where are you raking in your earnings?


  6. Posted by GeorgeCross on 2010/04/27 at 3:19 PM

    What a shame that Olic won’t be at the World Cup…


  7. Posted by matthewsf on 2010/04/27 at 5:06 PM


    This was phenomenal commentary — like an amalgamation of Ray Hudson, Zach Galifianakis, & Franck Ribery.


  8. Posted by Antonio H. on 2010/04/27 at 8:02 PM

    Altintop was straight up butck-nasty today. He might be the only guy in the history of the beautiful game to earn man of the match without getting on the score sheet and having a teammate score a hattrick.

    Can’t wait to play against him next month. Let’s hope he’s still in that form. 0.0


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