Hypothetical trades are our bag baby here at TSG. Just consider us the Soccer Trade Machine that ESPN never built. Um, not really.
A few months ago we gave you a post on a little fun–completely hypothetical–wheeling and dealing in a transfer fantasy land.
Here’s our latest salvo. Crazy? Yes:
• USSF trades a national team friendly to FC Dallas that is *free for season ticket holders.
Dallas commits to work 17-year-old wunderkind midfielder Bryan Leyva to commit his national team career, Paco Torres-style, to the Yanks.
How about we get Dallas some more fans? The product that team is putting on the field is a good “team.” And what I mean by that is where Los Angeles slaps you in the face with an over-abundance of talent, Dallas has talent, but the bit parts complement that talent even better. 1+1=3…
…only no one is watching the games.
In exchange for adding a USSF friendly carrot to the season ticket offer, the Hoops attempt to convince Mexican Bryan Leyva to commit to USSF, looking ahead to 2018.
Of course, the fans still need to show up.
• Fulham sends Eddie Johnson to the Kansas City Wizards for Sunil Chhetri. Kansas City has option to recall or buy back Sunil Chhetri if Eddie Johnson claims an American bias in Kansas City and doesn’t get playing time.
Somewhat unfair to really consider Sunil Chhetri a bust in Kansas City. Number one, Kansas City didn’t know precisely what they were getting, and number two, it’s less than a full year for Chhetri.
And number three, Chhetri’s salary is in the low six-figures, not seven figures. A good risk, and the jury is still out.
Here’s the plan though.
Grown Ass Man and conspirast Eddie Johnson goes back to the club where he once scored goals in abundance. Chhetri goes to Fulham where the Cottagers can loan him out for a few years until he is ready.
Plus, because of the demographic percentages, an Indian national in England is actually bigger than in the States.
Fulham rids itself of EJ’s salary and gets something in return for the American striker a year earlier than the expiration of his deal after 2011.
At the very least, Kei Kamara will start to value his chances, no?
(Can you believe now that MLS made $6M on Johnson’s transfer originally? Wow.)
• Liverpool trades their owners Tom Hicks & George Gillette to the Boston Red Sox for their owners John Henry and Theo Epstein etc.
Just don’t like the Red Sox. Boo on the Liverpool owner; I send them to the Yankees’ arch rivals.
• Villarreal trades Jozy Altidore and Robert Pires to Birmingham for Spaniard Michel.
Look, I just want Altidore to join Nikola Zigic and Cameron Jerome up top with James McFadden feeding them. Birmingham: they’re like the Fulham of the 2010-2020 decade. The little team–that got promoted–that could.
Matt Derbyshire is only in at Birmingham because of the Home Grown rule and Alex McLeish frequently uses Jerome out wide. so we’re not worried. Altidore would get playing time.
Michel came in from Sporting Gijón last year and has yet to adapt to the Premiership game. He hasn’t got off the bench yet this year. He’s a better fit back in La Liga.
• Three-way: The Los Angeles Galaxy sell David Beckham and Tristan Bowen to Blackburn Rovers. Blackburn sends $10M to the Galaxy, sends them Brett Emerton, Julio Santa Cruz (Roque’s brother) and stipulates that they will play Bowen a certain number of games. USSF agrees to give Landon a rest from US duty in the October friendlies.
Our favorite one here.
Indian tycoon Ahsan Ali Syed who is bidding for Blackburn stated that he’d love to have David Beckham as a Rover should he get the keys to the club.
A very shrew move by Syed to curry favor with the English less than a week after Fabio Capello unceremoniously dumped the veteran from the national team picture.
The trade? Blackburn gets the England figure piece that they covet and a burgeoning, though green, potential forward. The Galaxy get a serviceable Emerton who’s actually on the field these days and star-in-the-making Santa Cruz who should surpass his brother.
Why move Bowen? Well, USSF gets involved and wants to get him overseas reps (Sunil Gulati loves his foreign players). In exchange, USSF agrees to rest Galaxy property Landon Donovan for some friendlies and cupcake qualifiers.