Our friends over at The Yanks Are Coming did such a good job coming up with annual awards that we wanted to….steal them and make them our own. Maybe a little….we just wanted a ballot…and we got one.
Here’s how the TSG corporate ballot looks:
Oh and go vote right here for the same awards
1. JEFF AGOOS/CLINT MATHIS AWARD (Best Hairstyle)
» Apologies to both Oguchi Onyewu and Heath Pearce, who both decided to make a statement with the hair styles on their face Heath Pearce with a Magnum P.I. stache and Oguchi Onyewu with the Kimbo Slice.
This award goes to USWNT coach Pia Sundhage who’s got so much audacity–and rightfully so–as the women’s team leader that she sports the faux hawk with a semi-smile.
2. FREE FREDDY DARKO ADU MARINOVICH AWARD (Biggest Bust/Most Disappointing US Soccer Player)
» Sacha Kljestan–you knew this was coming. Perhaps the most skilled, from-the-run-of-play, vertical attacker on the States. (Landon dangerous on the counter, Deuce better at hold-up juking).
You wouldn’t know it though
The man had an MLS commercial and some bravado after a relatively ho-hum goal against El Salvador. Currently he’s a cog at Anderlecht. It’s getting on in his career too.
3. BRIAN CHING AWARD (Hardest Working Man ((or woman)) in US Soccer)
» Like father, like son. Only the father takes this one.
While you may not agree with his formations or line-ups, there is no question that Bob Bradley‘s tireless in preparation. From calling Herculez to the touchline to sub in the England game (to prepare him for following games) to having a novice team ready to go with the correct motivation “fun” in South Africa in November, Bradley’s prepared.
Eagle Scout-prepared through hard work.
4. JON LEVY LIGHTNING CUP AWARD (US Soccer Player Most Likely to Induce Alcohol Driven Rage/Joy/Anger in the Same 90 Minutes)
» Jozy, Jozy, Jozy….it’s like watching your kid finally being able to pick up things with their hands…only to find that they now know how to throw and break things too.
5. TONY ROMO AWARD (Most Overrated American Soccer Player– this is NOT necessarily the most disappointing– just the most overrated)
» Sorry buddy, you’re a good player and all, just WAY OVERHYPED amongst die hards. Jose Torres, a good reliever and good sub, not a starter against Slovenia and likely will have a challenge making the 18 going forward.
6. CLAUDIO REYNA TECHNICAL TROPHY (Most Improved American Soccer Player)
» This was a tough one for me to cast my vote on. It’s often hard to cast this vote unless the player is in MLS as you have to watch their maturation game in and game out to get enough observations.
That said, we won’t duck it. Eddie Gaven? Not quite. Alejandro Bedoya? He’s yet to seize a game by the throat.
Is it really Michael Bradley? No I just don’t feel that answer.
Herculez Gomez? Now we’re getting very close…but I think that was more a manner of being healthy and a position switch.
Your answer here is Clarence Goodson. He may not be the starter come 2014–and likely won’t be–but he went from Gold Cup 4th stringer to World Cup roster in the past year (and probably should have started a game in South Africa too)
7. TONY MEOLA RYAN MILLER MEMORIAL TROPHY (Best American Goalkeeper)
» Duh. Brad Friedel has tired, Guzan’s looks tantalizing, but hasn’t been given the chance behind Friedel.
Honorable mention to Robbie Findley, who keeps the ball out of the net….just it’s the wrong one. That comment was a lay-up.
8. PAUL CALIGIURI AWARD (Best Goal Scored By An American Soccer Player, for club or country)
» Wow, since the topic here is “Best” goal scored, I’m ruling out the Algeria goal. Since I make up my own rules here at TSG, I’m going with a tie between Clint Dempsey’s technically flawless strike in the Europa Cup run against Juventus and Landon Donovan’s cleaning-the-gutter face buzzer against Slovenia.
Okay, I feel better now.
9. THE AMERICAN MARADONA AWARD (Best US Player Under the Age of 23)
» Hey The Yanks Are Coming people, can’t you give us a list of these players so I don’t have to age check. C’mon guys!
Okay, I’ll pile the hype on. Eric Lichaj‘s end-of-year portfolio is the best Yanks flank minder since Tony Sanneh put in yoeman work at the 2002 World Cup.
Jozy Altidore is at a top La Liga spot and already has “World Cup Starter” affixed to his resume.
Two I’ve left out might merit consideration down the road: Juan Agudelo (he will be a star), Mix Diskerrud (should be a star and play wide for the Yanks).
However, because you made it 23 and not 22, there is no question that everyone’s favorite player from New Jersey,
Giuseppi Rossi is, currently, the American Maradona.
Update: Misread the question. I’ll go with Lichaj, except when he plays Manchester City.
10. DEREK ZOOLANDER AWARD (Most Really, Really, Really Good Looking US Soccer Player)
» Um, okay, where do I go with this one. Should I go body part by body part.
I’ll cop out and take the USWNT as a whole…we all know there are some real lookers over there.
11. THE BRIAN McBRIDE MEMORIAL TROPHY (Most Outstanding American Soccer Player of the Year).
» Supremely tough decision here. Cutting to the chase, Clint Dempsey helped lead his team to the Europa Cup final AND was neck-and-neck with Landon Donovan for the best performance in South Africa.
In the final game of that World Cup, Dempsey rose to the occasion, earning the penalty that allowed Landon to knock home the temporarily-tying goal against Ghana.
If Dempsey is my winner, Donovan is right there next to him.