Archive for the ‘Match Play-By-Play’ Category

Champions League – Rangers versus Man United

Edu with an above average grade defensively, but needs to lead the counter more effectively

Edu played well defensively and though composed with the ball, I just feel he could have done more with it, and off it, with some more penetrating runs. All told, Rangers and Edu played well enough to earn a point.

TWEET TWEET TWEET. Game over. A well deserved point for Rangers. SAF’s face is at threat level red.

95:00 – Edu and Giggs collide on the edge of the box as Edu inadvertently handles the ball and Giggs’s balls twice. Ref correctly waves play on.

94:00 – All United as Rangers hang on desperately.

93:00 - By an hour I mean 6 minutes…which means 10 if the referee wants to leave Old Trafford with his testicles.

91:00 – About an hour of extra time has been added. Can Rangers hold on?

90:00 - Rangers counter dangerously, but United stand firm.

85:00 - Edu getting in the mix of things a bit more and has either woken up or been given the go-ahead to be more adventurous. Either way it makes Rangers more dangerous.

82:00 – Gibson with a swerving pile driver of a shot that goes just over. Edu game him some space and Gibson was inches from making the Scots pay.

81:00 – Miller off and Lafferty on for Rangers.

80:00 – Giggs with a delicious over the top ball to Fletcher, but it’s cleared out at the last second. Classy stuff from the Welshman.

79:00 - Rangers keeping United on their toes, but the game is entering the time period when defensive teams tend to make mistakes.

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FINAL – The Netherlands versus Spain

Van Bommel apparently is a sweetheart off the field...douche on it!

Executive call…not going to blog unless it’s really crazy…Enjoy the game.

TWEEEEEEEEEET and the Dutch kick it off


PUYOL IN HD…he’s up there with Tevez and Ribery.


There is an Italian still in world cup as Cannavaro brings it out and kisses it one last time.


The trophy is in a Louis Vuiton case!


Will Paul go through the world cup undefeated?


11:00- Blood Mary number 1 in the books.

10:48 - Our first Guinness spill of the World Cup.

Line ups

Spain: 1-Iker Casillas; 15-Sergio Ramos, 3-Gerard Pique, 5-Carles Puyol, 11-Joan Capdevila; 14-Xabi Alonso, 8-Xavi, 6-Andres Iniesta, 16-Sergio Busquets; 18-Pedro, 7-David Villa.

Holland: 1-Maarten Stekelenburg; 2-Gregory van der Wiel, 3-John Heitinga, 4-Joris Mathijsen, 5-Giovanni van Bronckhorst; 7-Dirk Kuyt, 6-Mark van Bommel, 10-Wesley Sneijder, 8-Nigel de Jong, 11-Arjen Robben; 9-Robin van Persie.


Nelson Mandela will make an appearance before the game (but watching it from home). It will probably be one of his last public appearances. I have no idea what to say about this amazing man.


Back soon with the lineups


Interestingly it turns out that everyone’s favorite Sneijder is a bit of a dick where as Van Bommel calls his wife and children before every game and tells them he loves them and thst he is trying to win the game for them….AWWWWW.


We’re at the Phoenix for this one but we would like to thank both Danny Coyles and Phoenix for hooking us up and providing excellent venues to watch these wonderful games. If you are out of town and ever come to beautiful SF, be sure to check out these two bars!


This is it. Game number 64, the final one, the big one. Spain versus Holland.

Third place game – Uruguay versus Germany

Does he have enough in the tank to get a goal or two to challenge for the golden boot?

93:00 – WOW. Forlans kick hits the wood work and the game is over. What a great game. Both teams deserving of their final places…Paul is right again! See you tomorrow for the final.

93:00 – Free kick for Uruguay 20 yards from goal.

2 minutes left. Uruguay pressing

88:00 – Boateng is having a great game both defensively and offensively as he initiates  a move that Kiessling had a golden opportunity to score but skies the ball from 10 yards out.

82:00 – GOOOOOOAAALLLL – Khedira heads it in off some rebounds from a corner. Sadly for Uruguay Suarez wasn’t there on the line to punch it out as that was in his wheelhouse. Germany 3 – Uruguay 2

80:00 – Boateng sends in a lovely cross but Kiessling is inches away from connecting. Really hope this goes to penalties.

76:00 – Kiessling entered the game a couple of minutes ago and his first chance.

67:00 – This game is fantastic. So open and great that it’s on ABC.

63:00 – Suarez sends in a howitzer that Butt does well to save (apparently the commentators are pronouncing the keepers name “boot”…sigh).

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Semifinal number 2 – Germany versus Spain

The greatest beneficiary to Ballacks injury, the Pig Boss is finally playing to the abilities everyone expected him to 4 years ago.

Spain versus the freaky deaky Dutch…what a final!


Paul’s streak is still on as he screws the Mannschaft with his long tentacles. We WILL have a new world cup winner.

3 minutes of extra time

89:00 - Torres showing a bit of skill but he’s still missing a step or two…well done Rafa.

86:00 - Tubbs and Crockett seemed to have pipped down a bit after I corrected them on why a play 30 minutes earlier was not offside. Luckily Martin Tyler agreed with me.

85:00 - Pedro off, Silva on.

82:00 - Pedro has a golden chance to make it two – zero as he could have shot or passed to a WIDE OPEN Torres… instead he chose to lose the ball. Torres must be screaming ” I’M NOT THAT COLD”

81:00 - The ladies and the odd man scream with joy as Torres comes on for the divine soul patch.

80:00 – Soothing chants of ole ole from the female contingent of Spanish fans…It’s like the sounds of sirens. Meanwhile Germany pressing forward. It’s actually moments like these when they need Ballack. YUP I said it.

75:00 – Well that was different then Spain’s usual method of attack. It was in the h(air)!

73:00 – GOOOOOOAAAALLLLL. PAU GASOL...I mean Puyol with a thumping header from a Xavi cross. Keeper had no chance. Spain 1 – Germany 0

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Semifinal – The Netherlands versus Uruguay

Quietly the best player in the world!


95:00 – Everyone thinks the game is over but Van Bommel gets a yellow.

94:00 – Nervy times for the Oranje!

92:00 – GOOOAAALLLLL. Its not over till its over! Periera. Uruguay 2 – Dutch 3

88:00 – Back to the Bloody Mary. It had an asparagus in it instead of a string bean or celery. That’s a point for the Phoenix. Unfortunately they are the Uruguay in this competition as Danny Coyles is winning the Bloody Mary off 3-1.

86:00 – RVP intercepts the ball well and lays of to a rushing Robben who brings the ball into the penalty area but his receding hairline tries to be too cute, and he fails to chip Muslera who comes out well.

84:00 - In the possibly the most asinine move of the tournament, Uruguay take of Forlan off and replace him with Fernandes…. please explain!

83:00 – There is no way Muslera is allowed to legally drink in the US. He looks like he is about 7 years old.

78:00 - Bloody mary is much better now that I 1. Doused it in Tabsaco and 2. Drank half of it.

77:00 – If any team can come back its Uruguay. They’re very very good at switching mentalities and will go on the offensive. Problem is…will they get caught out at the back.

73:00 – GOOOAAAAAALL – ROBBEN and his receding hairline heads powerfully home after a great cross from Kuyt. He was unmarked and froze the keeper. Dutch 3 – Uruguay 1

70:00 – GOOOAAAAAL Sneijder. The “best player” in the world sends a slowish dribbler that might have bounced of RVP into the corner of the net. That was not offside as RVP was level. Dutch 2 – Uruguay 1

68:00 – Robben gets a golden chance to go up but his shot is skied over the bar after Muslera punches a rebound

67:00 – Forlan sends a lovely dipping free kick into the bottom corner but Stekelenburg is up to the task and parries it away for a corner.

62:00 – So am the Phoenix who have a lovely bar staff and decent food but their Bloody Mary’s do not compare to those of Danny Coyles. Their saving grace is that they come in a MASSIVE glass which is reminiscent of something from the container store….but I had to add my own tabasco. Also Danny Coyles come with more veggies!

59:00 - The Dutch are not communicating with each other as Van de Vaart as all the time in the world but is tackled fairly from behind. A little  “HEY WATCH OUT” would have helped.

51:00 - Apparently Cavani has an Orthodontist. He flashed his pearly whites due to a no call and showed the world a mouthful of metal.

47:00 - We’re back on and its all tied up. I believe the Dutch are getting more than they bargained for.


47:00 – Sneijder sends a beautiful ball to Kuyt whose diving header goes wide. The idiots in the bar scream for offside not knowing the rules at all. Almost threw my Guinness at them!

41:00 - GOOOOAAAAL. FORLAN. Another spectacular long range effort. Stekelenburg could have probably done better but that shot was swerving the whole time. Great power and control by the Atletico forward. Uruguay 1 – Dutch 1

36:00 – Uruguay might be labeled properly as a defensive team but they are remarkable at changing tempos and are now all offense. The dutch are defending well though.

32:00 – I have a feeling this will turn into a bit of a circus of game with at least 1 person being sent off.

28:00 – Well that was a boot to the head for De Zeeuw as a bicycle kick goes awry and he gets a BOOT TO THE FACE! The argy bargy is a result of that kick but unclear why.

27:00 – ARGY BARGY!

22:00 – I don;t think anyone expected that from the 35 year old left back!

18:00 –  GOOOOOOAAAAAALL. GVB (Jon Remucal..sic )the captain with a SPECTACULAR SHOT that sails over everyone and into the back of the net. He was the most surprised person in the stadium! Netherlands 1 – Uruguay 0

17:00 – RVP robs a lazy Pareira but no one is in the box and three defenders close him down quickly.

11:00 – Forlan and Cavini are making intelligent runs but they’re not in sync. They have Suarez to thank for that!

10:00 - Kuyt showing some skill as he rounds 2 Uruguayan defenders and sends in a cross that is skied in the air by a defenseman. Ball comes back to Kuyt whose second cross ends up in Muslera’s hands.

3:00 – Kuyt with volley that sails over the bar. He should have done better as he had time and space but as expected he is everywhere on the pitch. Harkes claims he’s the first person on his team sheet….hmmmmm I would take that Wesley guy first, then that Arjen fellow.

TWEEEEEEEET and Uruguay kick it off.


GVB and Forlan exchanging pennants…i wonder what happens to those.


Odd, a random guy wearing a French jersey in the crowd.


Line ups

Uruguay: 1-Fernando Muslera; 3-Diego Godin, 6-Mauricio Victorino, 5-Walter Gargano, 16-Maximiliano Pereira, 22-Martin Caceres, 15-Diego Perez, 11-Alvaro Pereira, 17-Egidio Arevalo, 7-Edinson Cavani, 10-Diego Forlan.

Netherlands: 1-Maarten Stekelenburg; 12-Khalid Boulahrouz, 3-John Heitinga, 4-Joris Mathijsen, 5-Giovanni van Bronckhorst; 7-Dirk Kuyt, 6-Mark van Bommel, 10-Wesley Sneijder, 14-Demy de Zeeuw, 11-Arjen Robben; 9-Robin van Persie.


Uruguay have done well to get here but haven’t beaten any “big team” to get this far where as the other three have beaten at least one of the traditional footballing powerhouses. Does that even matter?


Well it’s down to 4. Uruguay and Suarez’s new hand of god versus the Oranje Machine. Not your fathers Dutch team but effective none the less.

Quarterfinal – Spain versus Paraguay

Larissa Riquelme said she would run naked through the streets if Paraguay win it all...Go PARAGUAY!

PEEEEEEP PEEEP PEEP and Spain are through.

90:00 - Spain break with a 3-3. Pedro crosses to Villa who traps and shoots but it is masterfully saved by Villar.

88:00 – Casillas fumbles a routine shot and Santa Cruz is there for the rebound and Casillas makes amends by blocking it well.

83:00 – GOOOOOOAAAAAALLL. VILLA. Wow. Iniesta waltzes through the midfield from Iniesta, lays it off to Pedro whose shot hits the post but bounces out to an on rushing Villa, whose shot hits both posts before going in. That was lucky but how exciting. Spain 1 – Paraguay 0

77:00 – I think this game needs to go to penalties…just for fun.

75:00 – Xavi comes close with an outside shot. They need to do more of that. Pedro on for Spain.

73:00 – Internet seems to be singing (way to Jinx myself). Spain need to change it up some. Draw out the defenders with some outside shooting.

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