TERMS & PHRASES
Def 1: (n) – A brilliantly lashed ball that finds the back of the net to end a scoring drought in dramatic fashion.
Def 2: (n) – Any goal struck by Hull City and USMNT striker Josmer Altidore
(ex: Big Jeezy, Hull City v. Manchester City 2.6.10)
“Donovan” – (v) – to slot the ball perfectly during a rush or counter attack to a leading US striker that it relegates the defense useless and the striker in prime position to finish. (See: Davies, Mexico and Casey, San Pedro Sula)
(n) – one who slots…., (n) – the act of slotting….
“USMNTitis” – (n) – trouble finishing; trouble putting the ball in the back of the net
“Charlie-In-A-Bottle” – (n) – Lightening, like coming on like a bat out of hell at the RSA Confed Cup and scoring a goal in his first start there, in a bottle. Usually used when pining for a player to make a major contribution who hasn’t necessarily shown that he is capable of it.
“Boombosa” – (n) – A swerving, dipping, knuckler of a shot off or just under the limbo bar that beats the keeper. (courtesy Coach Peter Vermes)
“Flying Hovestad” – (n) – an amazing pass or shot by Benny Feilhaber that displays panache and generates excitement or one who has a play that resembles a Benny Flying Hovestad. (see Mexico, Gold Cup 2007, or Spain, Confed Cup 2009)
“The Counterattack Heard Round the World” – One of the prettiest goals in the history of the United States, international competition and quite possibly in the history of soccer. Setting: Confederation Cup, 1st half, Final, US vs. Brazil. Rico to Landon to Charlie back to Landon for the score. A more perfect counterattack has likely never been seen.
USMNT Match Fit Index (MFI) – Most aptly described in this column, the MFI is The Shin Guardian’s way of reducing the clutter of injury reports and rumors on players that have suffered anything from a knock to something worse. There are four rankings or distinction in the MFI: Match Fit, Magic Spray, Training Table, Medic!
US PLAYERS —–
Brian Ching – The Big Aloha
Frankie Hedjuk – Frankie Haircut, Frankie Excitement (executive decision)
Stu Holden – Iceman (TSG Poll Winner)
Clint Dempsey – Deuce, Deuceman (sticking with legacy here)
Jozy Altidore – JZA, Drogba Jr., Big Jeezy
Charlie Davies – “Chuck Deezy,” CD9
Tim Howard – Big T
Benny Feilhaber – Benny!, Benny Exclamation
Ricardo Clark – Rico, Rambo
Freddy Adu – The Renewed Freddy Adu The Subdued Freddy Adu
Bob Bradley – Coach USA
Mikey Bradley – Junior, Sweatpants Jr., Mikey B
Sacha Kljestan – Victoria’s Little Secret
Jonathan Bornstein – Johnny “Be Good” Bornstein, Johnny Be Good
Jermaine Jones –The Great German Hope, Snuffleupagus/Snuffy
Brad Friedel – Big Bird (coined January 30th, 2010 due to Friedel’s atrocious attire)
Dax McCarty – The New Ginger Ninja
Conor Casey – Mr. Clean
Landon Donovan – Lanverton (exclusive to his time with the Toffees)
Alejandro Bedoya – The U.S. Ambassador to Brazil
Borussia Moenchengladbach – M’Glad (courtesy of TSG commentor Antonio), Bo’ Munchen (courtesy of Kaya)
• Plies their trade: An overused phrase typically for Americans playing overseas
• Burst onto the scene: Nearly every players that surprises “burst on to the scene.” For those that don’t come on quite as strongly, they “arrive” on the scene. We’ll go with Charlie-In-A-Bottle.
• A two-goal lead is the “most dangerous lead in soccer”
Finally (for now) stop repeating the canard that a two-goal lead is the “most dangerous lead in soccer.” Bullshit. The only team that wouldn’t wish for a two-goal lead is the one that already has a three-goal lead. This is another bit of ‘punditry’ that makes you sound foolish. Enough, already.