We’re halftime of the Chelsea-Liverpool standoff and reflecting back on Jozy Altidore’s absence from yesterday’s Hull – Wigan matchup.
A hypothetical call from USMNT coach Bob Bradley to Hull City skipper Phil Brown:
Bob: Hey Phil, it’s Bob.
Phil: Bob, who?
Bob: The U.S. men’s national team head coach
Phil: Oh, that guy that wears sweatpants. How are you? Going to hit up the Ivy Leagues again after 2010?
Bob: Well, I was thinking maybe the Philadelphia Union; they’re a new team and bound to make some mistakes–I mean have some growing pains.
Phil: Oh good for you. Is there a reason you called Bob. Did you want some strategy?
Bob: Strategy, oh no, I’m set on that I just wish I could play a few more defenders out there instead of strikers. You know?
Phil: I don’t, but was there a question here? We beat Wigan yesterday, but the fans still want to crucify me and I have to prepare for next week.
Bob: Wow, that’s impressive. About our boy, I need him to get some playing time over there.
Phil: Well, Bob, Jozy’s got a few challenges with getting back into the line-up. First of all, he’s green and he doesn’t manage possession well up the field. I would be fine with him learning on the job….if it didn’t mean my job.
Bob: I understand Phil. I can’t afford the reps either sometimes that’s why I bring in my big Hawaiian guy though I’m likely not to get a goal out of it. What else is it?
Phil: Now he’s got a little bit of competition upfront. I mean, for chrissakes, he was competing for time up top against Craig Fagan and Daniel Cousin. Daniel Cousin! I mean he should’ve beat those guys out. Now, I’ve got V of H (nickname for: Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink) up top who brings some veteran presence, I’ve got Geovanni who just signed a new contract playing my point forward role like Ronaldo, and then I’ve got Ghilas off the bench who is more active than Carlos Tevez. Where am I going to put the kid in there?
Bob: I see your points. I’ll make a deal with you. You still need offense right? I’ll talk to Lando about taking a stab in the EPL and mention Hull City a few times. You throw in Altidore as a sub in the 2nd half and keep pushing his fitness and his possession maintenance.
Phil: Agreed, but one more thing Bob.
Phil: Get yourself a nice button down combo or something.