Your Most Annoying Global Player Is Also One of The Best

Ronaldo...runaway annoying...

It’s tidy-it-up Monday here at TSG and as we swept out the dark room, cleaned the keyboards and folded the leftover “Free Benny!” t-shirts, we realized we closed our poll entitled:”Who’s the most annoying global soccer player?” without commenting on the results.

In a runaway win, none other than Mr. Nonchalance a.k.a. The Greasy One a.k.a. Crissy Ronaldo a.k.a Crissy Girl a.k.a CR7 Mr. Cristiano Ronaldo takes the pie…chart by nearly a 43% plurality.

I have to be honest. I voted for Pippo Inzaghi. The pint-sized Italian, while talented in his fly-like buzzing around the defense, makes me cringe every single time I see him complain about an offsides call or a foul on a player who’s shirt he just grabbed. According to Inzaghi, he’s never offsides. At least with Ronaldo, in my book, he has that air of arrogance that befits a world class player. Alas, Inzaghi was a distant 5th.

Ezel doing a Drogba imitation

Above Inzaghi in the polls from two through four were:

Gautemalan Carlos Ruiz, noted at TSG for his ridiculous head stomp on Tim Howard in 2008.

Chelsea man Didier Drogba who could easily double for Ezel (1:00 min mark of this clip) for his very serious injuries.

Robin Van Persie’s best friend and glory hound Emmanuel Adebayor who loves to disrespect the Emirates fans that rooted so hard for him all those years.

Bringing up the rear of the nominated candidates was El Hadji Diouf. Click here for his latest transgression.

Finally, and always the fun part, the write-in votes:

◊ David Beckham (Can’t disagree with you here….)

◊ Gattuso (I can see your point, though I love the guy….especially how he vigorously shakes the hand of each player he fouls.)

◊ Blanco (Not feeling this one…)

◊ Freddy Adu (I would have disagreed with you about a month ago, but I’m reserving judgment here.)

◊ Nery Castillo (Who I learned once refused a selected teammate a penalty shot…don’t know much more about Nery.)

◊ Gio Dos Santos (Add the person who wrote in: “He has the most amazing dives. He has his own category of art.”)

And lest we leave you with something that doesn’t tug at the very fabric of this piece and cement Ronaldo’s annoying legacy, here you go.

Ronaldo, the Singer.


Check out a funny piece on the 6 stages of footy diving here.


9 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by kaya on 2009/11/02 at 10:15 PM

    Can I vote again for Crissy?


  2. Posted by kaya on 2009/11/03 at 2:06 PM

    How about a ranked voting system?
    (Happy voting day btw!)
    Clearly there has to be room in 2nd place for Rio Ferdinand.


    • Posted by matthewsf on 2009/11/03 at 2:14 PM

      I think we’ll do it by position.

      I feel bad actually for Rio — great career until the injuries. Unlike someone like a, say, Gary Neville who always sucked and played dirty and doesn’t deserve one call. I despise Gary Neville.


  3. Posted by Kevin on 2009/11/03 at 9:31 PM

    Ronaldo’s only the most annoying cuz he went to Real Madrid. Otherwise he’s a great players that falls to easy. I could probably find a way to back him up for his dives, but why do I care he’s a Real Madrid and I’m a Barca supporter.


    • Crissy isn’t only the most annoying because he went to Madrid. He’s the most annoying because he’s a gigantic bag of douche. That guy has some immense talent but he flops around like a fish out of water if there’s a stiff breeze, and he bitches to the refs constantly (there are many who share this annoying trait). I know players will always embellish fouls to get a call, but if the FA or Spanish Federation had locomotive physicists watching replays of his dives he would be suspended for the rest of his and his child’s natural born lives; they’re that bad. Also, you can’t tell me that someone who is approximately 6 feet tall and roughly 160-175 pounds with the balance and agility to pull off some of the moves that he does could go down under some of those challenges.


      • Posted by matthewsf on 2009/11/06 at 4:17 PM

        A gigantic bag of douche….I’m going to have to work that into a few columns.


      • Posted by Kevin on 2009/11/06 at 8:48 PM

        As much as you hate him, there’s many players that are worse than him, but the reason they aren’t ever noticed is because they were never considered as the best in the world. Personally I don’t like his diving, but if you know a player does that, why give him the chance to? As a Man U and Barca Supporter I hate that he went to Real Madrid.

        I never really thought about writing in votes for this one, but now that I look back on it, I probably would have said Blanco or Montero. Beckham’s annoying too, but that’s really not anything he does on the pitch. It’s one thing to be an a** off the pitch, but when it bleeds into your play (like kicking someone, and magically getting the call for you) then that’s completely different


  4. Posted by Nicky on 2010/02/19 at 6:15 AM

    brilliant comparison of drogba and ezel!


  5. […] I have to go with part of my all-EPL column yesterday–and I can’t let Didier “Ezel” Drogba win […]


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