The @FakeBobBradley Post-Brazil Presser

While we await a killer review from TSG’s Tuesday who took in the game from the press, I did a little cut-and-paste job on @FakeBobBradley (a friend of TSG) and his 30-minute post-Brazil diatribe.

Coach Sweats took the throne for about 30 minutes...

Start from the bottom up.

  1. More beloved, me or the Fail Whale (@twitterwhale) – I’m out!
  2. Okay, my schtick got old after 4 years…not going to make the same mistake twice…even though that would be so Coach Sweats like. 15

  3. Too funny. Apparently they gave Jozy 2 plane tickets, one to Turkey;one to Denmark & told him to call the front office at the airport. Cold.

  4. I’m running out of material up here guys! Someone get me some Robbie Findley highlights. STAT!

  5. Word to (RT) @mshuster09 you are a God. A god who wears sweats. <—– You know it!

  6. For all the haters…I’ve got this for you: Onalfo is on Gulati’s short list.

  7. This vicodin is going to wear off pretty quickly…I need hit up Hollywood Kljestan for another..& you guys wondered why he makes the squad.

  8. Ok, Got a joke for you: Three talented strikers walk into a bar. One Brazilian. One Spanish…and one American…one American…one American

  9. ….Actually sweating up here. C’mon Nike stuff, do your thing.

  10. I miss Grant Wahl lobbing me softballs….with Ives stuck in the elevator…I’m get peppered…..

  11. Look before you guys run me out of town though…how bad does DUNGA look…I mean c’mon… Pato, Neymar… (deflect, deflect, deflect)

  12. Gulati says I have to answer questions from the audience. Tell me that guy doesn’t look like Gazoo:

  13. <Burp>

  14. Oh…& that Daily Mirror rumor about the Villa gig? Gulati planted it…I don’t care if I fired. Time to go Jet Blue style & pull the slide!

  15. I think that’s it folks…works on so many levels. Remember press your sweatpants & play your nepos. (That’s Latin for non-Princeton grads).

  16. KAMMARMAN! For crissakes man, lose the secret service ear piece and listen to me when I tell you, “I need a donut!”

  17. Goals! You want goals! I’ve got top level keepers coming out of my ying-yang, but I’m almost down to D2 college ball looking for the sniper!

  18. You know after every game Sunil and I sit down and discuss next steps. I don’t think we need to do that on this one.

  19. Look. All I’m saying is that it’s pretty fair race between Jonathan Spector and Ryan Seacrest.

  20. You know after Bornstein got left flat-footed, hrmmm…I thought the response was good. He stared down at the pitch…I’d do that too.

  21. “Look folks, I was running the stock 4-4-2 back when you were bunched in kindergarten soccer and sucking on too many orange slices. “

  22. What can you say about Robbie Findley…”He is who I thought he was.” Wait…is that right… about 1 hour ago via web

  23. Oh…sorry it’s press conference time….

7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Antonio H. on 2010/08/10 at 10:32 PM

    8 went over my head…


  2. Posted by obxfly on 2010/08/11 at 4:02 AM

    24. Our long passes did not reach their targets.


  3. This guy is hilarious; I wish the real Bob had some of his devil-may-care attitude.


  4. Posted by JW on 2010/08/11 at 6:18 AM

    25. Man our defense marked poorly. If only we had Ricky!


  5. the best because it absolutely true…sadly

    Goals! You want goals! I’ve got top level keepers coming out of my ying-yang, but I’m almost down to D2 college ball looking for the sniper!


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