Posts Tagged ‘Germany’

Round of 16 – England versus Germany

Has never scored a World Cup goal. Will today be his first?

PEEEEEEEP PEEEEEP PEEP. Well England are sent home in emphatic style by Germany. England were never in this world cup. Best they go home.

2 minutes of added time

89:00 – Lampard tries a shot from far out that Neuer saves. Going through the motions here as England just want to get on the plane. They played well for about 20 minutes but their patchwork aged defense was finally called out against some beautiful, quality, slick, attacking from Germany.

87:00 – SWP on for Johnson. Well that shows the lack of depth in this England squad. I’m pretty sure after Joe Cole, that Crouch should have been introduced.

81:00 – Gerrard has a nice run and shot but it is very well saved by Neuer and goes out for a corner.

71:00 -Heskey on Dafoe. Not very inspiring that. England’s defense, good in the group games is obviously not up to defending against quality opponents.

70:00 – GOOOOAAAL – Terrible defending by England as their slow defense gets ripped part and Moller sends his second into the back of the net. Germany 4 – England 1

67:00 – GOOOOOAAAL. Muller with a classic counter goal as off a terrible Lampard free kick that hits the wall and its a 3 on 2 that Muller slams home. Germany 3 – England 1

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Group D Match 3 – Germany versus Serbia

First penalty save of the cup. It's deemed by the TSG faithful that he should have a jean jacket goalie outfit

PEEEEEEP PEEEP PEEP – Germany played pretty well but the sending off didn’t help. Serbia are right back in it. Ghana can take a commanding lead with a win tomorrow or Australia could make things very interesting by winning.

92:00 – They get a last minute attempt but the Serbian defense which has been excellent especially considering they have played most the match with yellow’s.

3 minutes of extra time

89:00 – LOVE the matching cardigans! Bloody Mary is delicious!

87:00 – Not to much going on in the game right now. Off to order bloody mary.

84:00 – Krasic looks like Patrick Swayze on Roadhouse overheard at Danny Coyles.

79:00 – Goalscorer Jovanovic off, Lazovic on.

75:00 – Kuzmanovic off, Petrovic on.

74:00 – Zigic shows his worth by heading a ball in the goal of the direction of the goal. The serbian giant is 8 foot 28 but his header comes of the bar. I believe that’s the only thing he has done all game.

72:00 – Mertesacker makes a reckless challenge but escapes uncarded.

69:00 – Kacar in, Ninkovic out. Hmmm what about taking out one of your defenders on a yellow. Ozil out and Cacau in. Muller out and Marin in for Germany.

67:00 – Jovanovic i believe has a shot that beats Neuer but hits the post. Close one!

62:00 – Every Serbian defender is on a yellow!

61:00 – PENALTY SAVED…Keeper guessed and Podolski’s weak shot is easily parried away by Stojkovic.

60:00 – PENALTY, VIDIC gets a card for diving as out far as he can and palms the ball for no  reason. That was asinine.

59:00 – Ozil passes to Podolski who sends a thunderbolt…into the side netting. That fooled the very loud German in the bar…my head hurts…15 minutes to alcohol.

58:00 – Podolski gathers a beautiful ball, touches but drags the ball wide of the goal.

57:00 – There it is…another yellow card but the first one Subotic

54:00 – Pig Effer sends in a howitzer that Stojkovic digs volleyball style. Ball goes toward Khedira who kicks someone in the head…surprisingly there is no card for that.

52:00 –  Lahm is Germany’s most dangerous player this half as he sends an inviting cross but its just a little too long and Stojkovic gathers.

46:00 – Second half is underway.

Halftime…off to move the car so i don’t get a street cleaning ticket.

46:00 – Some glorious shooting from Germany of the corner as Khedira hammers one that comes off the underside of the cross bar. Ball comes back in and Muller tries a bicycle kick but it is cleared of the line by the Serbian defenders who do a good job of manning their post. Lucky for Serbia.

46:00 – All my German and Bavarian friends are very soft spoken.

Grabbing the headlines for the wrong reasons

45:00 – Pig Climber somehow talks the ref out of giving hima yellow for slight contact on the keeper. Alberto Undiano was thinking about it though!

43:00 – Ozil sends in a through ball but it’s heavily weighted. A patron at the bar leashes a barrage of what can only be deemed as Germanic insults at the TV. It’s a little early for that.

41:00 – Ref has handed out 6 cards in 37 minutes…Probably last game for him…will he pull a Graham Poll?

38:00 – GOOOOOOOALLLLL. Jovanovic. Krasic sends in a looping cross that giant Zigic heads across the face of goal to an open Jovanovic who just volleys it in. Serbia 1 – Germany 0

37:00 – RED CARD. Klose has been sent off for god knows what. He gets his second yellow for a benign foul. This referee is terrible. Spain not gloryfying themselves in the headlines at this world cup.

35:00 – Klose sends a header from a cross back along the face of goal but there is no one there to meet it. A chorus of NEINS and ARGHHHH’s from the Germans in the bar.

30:00 – Game is nearly not as exciting as the last German game, though as I write that Pig Climber (Schweinsteiger) sends Klose in but he is offside.

21:00 – Serbia are giving Germany a much stronger game than Australia in that the Germans can’t just go and do what they please. Ref is giving out more cards than a grandmother at christmas as he books Khedira for bad hair.

18:00 – Ivanovic earns a yellow card and moments later Kolarov earns one as well. He is also the only member of the Serbian starting 11 without an “ic” at the end of his last name. Do they ostracize him?

15:00 – Serbia earn a free kick from near the corner flag thanks to a bundling challenge by Badstuber. The free kick goes over everyone for a goal kick.

13:00: Klose earns his first yellow.

11:00 – Krasic ventures down the right wing and sends in an inviting cross that is volleyed first time by Nikovic but he blazes it over.

10:00 – Apparently it’s illegal to serve bloody marys at this hour…probably for the best.

8:00 – A cross comes in from Lahm that Vidic clears but only as far as Podolski who sends a left footed volley just wide.

Names an unchanged side

TWEEEEEEEEETTT – my face hurts

We are coming to you live from Danny Coyles in San Francisco. The last time I was up and in a bar at 4:30 am was in Rimini, Italy and I was dressed up as a “Devious Doctor” but that was neither here nor there.


We should find out in this game if Germany really mean business. Serbia need to step up if they’re going to live up to the tag of being a dark horse that myself and alots of others labeled them as before the tournament started.

Germany remain unchanged from the first game. Serbia make three changes with Kuzmanovic, Ninkovic and Subotic all getting starts.


Germany (4-2-3-1) 1-Manuel Neuer; 16-Philipp Lahm, 3-Arne Friedrich, 17-Per Mertesacker, 14-Holger Badstuber; 6-Sami Khedira, 7-Bastian Schweinsteiger; 13-Thomas Muller, 8-Mesut Ozil, 10-Lukas Podolski; 11-Miroslav Klose.

Serbia (4-4-2) 1-Vladimir Stojkovic; 6-Branislav Ivanovic, 5-Nemanja Vidic, 20-Neven Subotic, 3-Aleksandar Kolarov; 17-Milos Krasic, 10-Dejan Stankovic, 14-Milan Jovanovic, 22-Zdravko Kuzmanovic; 18-Milos Ninkovic, 15-Nikola Zigic.


Germany ran a muck in their first game against the socceroos scoring 4 goals against the country from down under. Serbia lost 1-0 to Ghana getting a player sent off.


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